and its ONLY Tuesday?

Even though I’ve been busy this week, and alone in my department (because you know, everyone must get sick at the same time) I have still managed to keep up to date – keep clients happy(ish) and my sanity intact. I am also generally a nice guy. Cool, calm, collected - I don’t really have much of a temper and I’m quite good with angry people because of my wonderful talent to “pretend I actually care about you” – I am a champion of life.

Then there was today. dum dum dum…

Today I absolutely lost it. I had 2 irate clients one after the other who decided that “fuck” is an appropriate business word to use. This is the context in which “fuck” has been used today.

“You clearly have no fucking idea what you are doing. You should have been a mechanic because you have no people skills”

A mechanic? Better yet – a gay mechanic? bwahahaha - Shit, I thought you only found them in porn movies. You dear sir, clearly have no fucking idea what you are talking about because I am like THE fucking peoples fucking person OF note.

“How does your fucking company operate when I’ve tried to get through 5 times and no one answers the phone?”

You try doing the jobs of 5 people when you are alone in the office trying your best to keep everyone happy you piece of shit. (I bet you, with my luck, all these people read blogs…) well, in that case – GOOD, read on… I’m not done yet!!!

Actually I am.

I’m just not happy right now. I feel quite sad. So what do I do?

want ek dink ek is “die man”

- I punched the wall after the last call, snapped a pen and threw a stapler. Like in real life, not just saying it – and got into trouble with dragon lady aka - boss.

Because I thought I was a hero. And now?

Now I have sore knuckles, my hand is bleeding because the pen cut me – I have no pen and I’m not sure where my stapler landed.

I just want to go home and have a glass of wine – and the biggest, fattest jayjay ever seen.

The end.

In case the Gay Mechanics Society of South Africa come hunting me down, get over it. I’m not in the mood and you know what I mean anyway *deep breaths wozzie, deep breaths*

baaa!

Not much news in my life really. Nothing witty – smart or funny to say either. No pearls of wisdom or little truffles of secret indulgencies. Nothing scary, nothing frightening. No mishaps, piss-ups, fuckups or bumping into parents in Adult sex shops. I’ve not fallen pregnant, or out of love, perhaps only deeper in. I’ve not lost a phone or drunk dialled my boss for a lift home while pub crawling, or is that, rolling. I’m just here. A little fish in a real big pond. Swimming round and round.

And that’s ok. I’m alright with a slightly slower pace. The mayhem and chaos of my everyday life as I usually know it should return to normal soon.