smiley face

I love quite time.

In fact, I crave it. I need moments, minutes, hours – sometimes days where I can just be alone. Where the only sound I hear is that of the wind rustling in the leaves of the trees outside my bedroom window. Or just the sound of me walking from the living room to the kitchen and opening the fridge to get some cold water.

I love it.

There have been times I’ve given my boyfriend money and said “goodbye – have fun. Treat yourself to lunch or go have a drink at the pub, but just stay away for 2 hours or so. ok, thank you. love you”

Then there are my walks. These are my favorite. Just me, myself and I – the trees on the side of the road, the cars driving past – the little houses, the big houses. The parks. The shops, the ocean.

I really do try find the beauty, the peace, the humor in all I see.

Last week on one such walk I came across this random smiling face painted over a drain hole covering…

It made me smile, and maybe it will make you too.

on the road again

Once upon a time I was short and fat.

Then I started running and found that not only did I love it, but I also became thin. Like, I lost 18kg or so… that’s a lot of man to lose you know.

Then I got a boyfriend. And two years later I’m lazy and don’t run. Still short, and getting fat all over again . eish.

THEN – I was asked if I would run in a race. Our company was taking part in a relay called “Mudman” and they needed a runner for the team. So I agreed to run.

Out of – I don’t know, a lot of teams, we placed fourth, and my time in the race was surprisingly good. I was quite chuffed, and now, I’m all motivated to run again. my best friend has accused me of turning into a lesbian. Bless.

Anyway. that’s my story. As boringly brilliant as it is I really must get back to work. but here is a nice picture of my leg with my race number, and then a picture of yachts at Wilson’s Wharf, which is one of my face places to go and chill…








Bye bye.

got this from Niks blog

Saw this on Niks blog :)

Name: Wozzel

Country: South Africa

Age: 30

How old were you when you first realized you were gay? I knew very early in life. I did not admit it immediately or always understand what was going on, but I knew I was different. But the time I was 16 I knew for sure that I was gay.

Do you have more gay friends or straight friends? I think I have a really nice balance of gay and straight friends. I prefer having more straight friends though. Just less drama I suppose.

Biggest turn on? Blue eyes. Humour. Hairy chest. (that was exactly what Nik said) and my boyfriend is all of those :)

Biggest turn off? People who have no drive. No ambition.

Ever been harassed due to your orientation? No. I’ve been quite lucky in the sense that I’ve never been given a hard time for being gay.

Have you ever been surprised at the reaction of people who know you are gay? People are often surprised when they first find out. I always think it’s quite funny.

What is the worst gay stereotype? Sex. Screaming queens. Will and Grace.

Are you a stereotype? Nope

Ever been to a pride rally? Yes. Cape Town and Johannesburg.

Do you go to gay bars? I refuse to!! I hate gay bars, clubs etc. I just don’t have the energy or time.

How old were you when you first told someone you were gay? 16

Did you plan it? If so, how? No. I was with my best friend and we were talking and I was like “heyyyy – hahaha – I’m gay”

What made you choose that person to tell? Was my best friend. I felt I could trust him. And I could.

How did you feel? I was so glad I finally had someone to talk to. And I loved how he used to tease me. He would always point out at guys and say “oh look, do you think he is cute” and then he would laugh. I loved it. I finally felt relieved of a stress.

Have you ever been snubbed by someone after coming out to them? No

Have you come out to your family? Yes. They have been really great about it.

Why did you come out at that point? I could not pretend anymore, plus I was worried it would come out somewhere else and it would first be a “rumor” and I wanted to be the one who told my family myself.

Are you out at work? Yes

What does being out mean to you? To me, it means living life like a normal person who does not have to hide who they are.

What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? It gets better :)

If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I would not change a thing. Really.

of blue cakes and turning 30

I cried myself to sleep the eve of my 30th birthday. Not because I was turning 30, but because a culmination of stressful events were becoming even more stressful and presenting new challenges that I was quite simply, not in the mood for. Coupled with fierce nostalgia and memories of my gran telling me what a big boy I was becoming on my 13th birthday 17 years earlier – it was all just too much.

I woke up on the 14th of March 2011 with more hair than I thought I would at 30, and a pimple the size of South Africa on my chin.

“I’m 30” I shouted at it. “30! What the fuck is there a pimple on my face for at 30!”

The pimple just looked at me with a cheeky look, sneering at me as pimples do and continued being a pimple. “Fucktard” I shouted at it. “Dam you!”

My gran called me on the morning of my 30th, and sang “Happy Birthday to you” as she always does and I cried just a little at the beauty of it and the shakiness in her voice, then laughed when she said “you’re catching up to me now old man” I felt such a warmth and love come over me. To have my gran singing happy birthday for me at this stage in my life. I’m lucky. I know it. I appreciate it, and I tell her every day.

I’m not one for holidays and celebrations. I don’t go crazy doodle over Valentines; I don’t hide chocolate eggs on Easter. I don’t get all “Merrily on high” over Christmas, but there is something about birthdays… something special and magic and I believe that everyone should celebrate their birthdays.

At least! If nothing else at all.

I’ve had a few. 30 in fact, so I think myself a bit of a professional in this regard. I’ve been planning my own birthday parties since I was 11 – the year of the blue cake. The year no one ate cake at my birthday party. My mother did warn me I was not following the instructions properly – but I was in control and I was doing this my way.

Hehe. That ugly blue cake.

And now, 19 years later I still celebrate my birthday in the grandest style I can. This year will be a small private affair. Just going out for dinner with my family and boyfriend and I can not think of anything else I would rather be doing.

I don’t bake blue cakes anymore, but I think tonight I just might.