so high in the sky

A close friend of mine was able to arrange a helicopter trip around Durban for him, my boyfriend and I on Saturday morning. This was to be my first trip in a helicopter.

Who knew it would also be my last?

When we arrived my very first thought was how the hell are we all fitting into this little flying machine? It looked to me like nothing more than a little toy chopper. A 4 seater we were advised.

I was already nervous. As it is I don’t like being in an airplane and here I was in what looked like an egg. I was able to stay calm as the blades began turning and tried my best to stop my leg from shaking uncontrollably. As we lifted off the ground from Virginia Airport and the ocean came into view I knew then that this was a bad idea.

Now before I continue I want to say this. The views are stunning. Durban is an amazing city with the most beautiful hills and lush tropical landscape – but I hated every minute of being in the air. Every minute.

And so – off we went down the coast – that was beautiful and the only time I was less stressed, and then past the Sun Coast Casino. As we flew along the coast line I was able to open my eyes, just for a second and I tried my best to enjoy the amazing opportunity I was experiencing. Looking to my left as my boyfriend so excitedly pointed out different buildings and my friend in the front half hanging out the window, both of them clearly having the time of their lives I silently prayed that I would find some peace and join in on the fun. I could not though. I just could not. As I’ve said, and am sure to repeat, I was petrified.

From North beach side we continued towards South beach and to the Durban harbor before turning around and heading back towards where we began. ONLY, this was not to be the end of the trip. No. Sir. Reeee. The fucking pilot announces we’ve only just begun.

Well yes. I had only just begun shitting my pants.

(it is pretty though hey?)



We took a sharp left just after the Sun Coast Casino, and as the helicopter did a little break dance mid air we were assured that this was only because the buildings along the promenade disturb the wind, so it causes a wee bit of turbulence.

Yeah. Caused a wee bit of wee in me too.

We then began flying over the Umgeni River mouth and continued for another 15 or so kilometers as the residential areas of Umgeni and then Inanda and then, well, I forget, zoomed past below.

That is when I saw the mountain. YES A MOUNTAIN. Ok, a hill. A very big one. A very big one called Armstrong Hill. A hill I never even knew existed. And so we were flying directly toward the hill when the pilot announced we would be landing on top for a pic nic. After turning around to get the best wind, the chopper lifted higher and then moved over to the top of the hill where we had a nice, soft landing.

I immediately asked where I could find a bus or taxi to get back home to Durban. I appologised profusely but admitted that I was not handling this all too well. He, the pilot, the pilot I would have pushed off that mountain had I not needed him a little later, laughed and asked if I realized I was on top of a mountain in the middle of no where and that I could very well try get down and call a cab, but that it might take a day or two. So reluctantly I sat down and ate the fresh strawberries and blueberries and gooseberries and berries and berries, and croissants and muffins and champers.

Now I am sure you’re all quite capable of guessing how one gets off a high hill when one is in a helicopter. Yip – you kinda just move forward and off and the chopper does a dip, and so do some peoples bowels, before you lift again, leaving behind said bowels and fly off into the clouds once more. We were now on our way back to the airport and I was both joyous and nervous all over again.

By the time we had landed I was a wreck. My hands were bruised from holding onto the bar in front of me so tightly. My leg was still doing the strange hippy pagan dance and I chained smoked like 3 ciggies all at once.

Thank you Quitch, for a wonderful opportunity. I know that Daz loved every minute of it and you completely made his day…….. but the next time you’re offered a helicopter trip you can count me out.

And to my Daz. My love… I promise – you still look 21 (and as gorgeous as ever). Happy 32 BIRTHDAY!!!