in my family portrait, we look fairly weird!

Dexter caught a fish out of the pond last night. I was sitting on the patio having a ciggie, sipping on wine, puffing away at a joint: multi-tasking, when I noticed him creeping up toward the water on the stone edging – then doing some sort of acrobatic back flip he went flying into the air ending this trapeze like act with a swift swing of the paw into the water scooping out one times goldfish, who in turn wriggled madly until he was free and did his own mid-air pirouette and landing “PLOMP” – found himself back in the pond.



Now why did South Africa not send them to the Beijing Olympics? They would have done us proud.

I swear. I live in a frikking circus. I do, however, love my life. The quirks and eccentricities. The craziness never ends and “dull moments” exist only when the merlot has run out, and that just never happened… I like to be different. If there is more to do than just walk a straight line, I am happy to do it. I live for the idiocy, the foolishness, the laughs.. there are a few.

For example, have I ever mentioned Onion? My pet giraffe?
Or what about Terence my imaginary goat, who is actually a fluffy pink boa wearing kudu? And moo-moo? My Canadian Moose?

Aah. Bless. Do come in, sit down and flip through my family album.


This is Terrence, my goat.



I’ve had him the longest of all my pets.
Yes, I know he is not a goat in real life, but I don’t judge him.
He is to be who ever he is to be – I always knew he was “musical”
He can be a bit selfish.
Terrence and I share a birthday which makes him a Piscean.
He has a very dry sense of humour, loves telling lame jokes and has a wonderful humming voice (note I said humming, not singing)
His favourite food is KFC.

Moo-moo is the “shy guy” in our family. Meet Moo-moo. The moose.



He does not talk too much (his friends tease him because he has a thick Canadian accent) and likes keeping to himself mostly.
His nick name is moomsie, which he hates!
Moo-moo is a Sagittarian through and through.
His favourite foods are red apples, waffles drenched in maple syrup and chicken schnitzel (but will refuse any sauce over it – just a wedge of lemon will do).
Moo-moo lists watching DVD’s and reading as two of the best things to do to pass time.
His hobbies are waking up late, sighing and playing the occasional game of golf.

This is Onion.



At home we call him “Onions” we say it fast and in a funny accent and it sounds hilarious! I’m hearing it in my head right now and chuckling.
He is an Aquarian.
He loves long walks in the Serengeti, bird watching, the scarf Aunty Original Cin knitted for him and picnics in the park. (I swear, he has not taken that scarf off since the 28th of February 2009!)
Onion was born in Glenwood / Durban at the “Arts Café” General Hospital.
Onion does not care for grazing on leaves rather preferring scones and cream with his afternoon tea.
He loves; Rooibos and Earl Grey, pretending to work and overspending.

There :) Now you have met my pets. My crazy loves. Be nice, say hello - but please. Dont feed the animals.

jingle bells jingle hells!

It is that time of the year again. Christmas decorations are up in the stores, Bony M (hear me scream – EEEEEK) is being played, on repeat, even in Woolworths while shoppers merrily, well, shop. The time of year when even more “FWD” e-mails are forwarded and there is a false sense of Joy and Merriment oozing out the pores of everyone I meet.

I find this time of the year to be incredibly fake.

Guess who’s not the biggest fan of Christmas. Fear not – I am working on it. I am trying to embrace the festive season – I’m trying to embrace the colorful halls decked with boughs of holly, tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

I shall however not embrace Bony M.

It is also that time of the year when family is asking who is going to be where and at who’s home will we meet and should we be traditional or shall we just book a table at Harvey’s?

The boyfriend has however convinced me to deck our home with boughs of holly this year. And those little twinkling lights and tinsel and there is even a tree. A TREE!! First time I’ve ever set up a Christmas tree in my own home. Ever. I don’t even know where it will go. And anyway, traditionally, when are we supposed to put it up?

The frustration however lies in the fact that even though I have a relatively close family, Christmas, brings along with it, other than the scorching Durban Summer – a most certain family dispute.

I’m not sure what the dispute is yet. I will have to wait for December 25th before I can be sure, but there will be – somewhere along the line.

Then there is the year end function. I hate the year end function! Not only do I have zero clue of what to wear (people, I must be the worst dressed gay man around; I have no time for brands and fancy shoes and crap. Give me board shorts a pair of slops and I’m ready to go) – I can not stand how chipper everyone is, smiling and laughing and pretending to be so happy to spend a few hours in the company of the company we all work at – for the knives will surely come out again tomorrow when we are all back in the office and no one likes anyone again.

So silly.

Plus, I’m irritated because Santa Claus does not really look like this :(
Well, more than irritated, devastated!

giving 'em stick!

I don’t pay attention.
Really, I don’t.
I’m easily distracted, bored or I just get irritated with myself or a situation then I close off. Not quite shut down, but definitely Stand By Mode. I can not even watch a movie in a cinema because then I want to walk, talk, smoke.
Meetings? Well, I’m always there. For at least 10 minutes before I drift off into la-la land and am back in what I now call SBM.

It drives my boyfriend crazy. He says things like :
“you don’t pay attention! If you are looking for the keys, why not try looking on the key rack?”

And we have conversations like :
“really? Wozzel? You’re asking me where the washing powder is? really!?

“umm. Ja. *scratch forehead* I’m sure I was stoned when you told me?”

“the laundry room! THE LAUNDRY ROOM! Come on, maaaan!”

Daily conversation people. I swear. I love it. I find it very entertaining.

So anyway – I needed to find the stick last night. The garden stick. You know; the kind you push into the ground next to a small tree or shrub that needs some support to stand up straight? Ja – that stick. I had one when we moved into the new place but never needed it. Now I do.

W) should we throw away the stick?
D) yes.
W) but I might need it.
D) then don’t throw it away.
W) but what will I do with it?
D) put it away until you need it!?!? (one can hear the frustration in his voice now)
W) but where?
D) THE STORE ROOM WOZZEL! Fuck! We have a store room. Don’t you ever pay attention?
W) well. No. not really.

And that was how that conversation continued for 15 minutes longer.

And so, before I sent the man a frantic text message disturbing him at work – asking him where the stick is I decided I would think about. I would use my common sense.

I would look for the stick.
I would find that stick!

My search was relentless. I looked in the store room. No stick. The laundry. No stick. The loft. The lounge. The garden. NO FRIKKING STICK!

And so, I sent the desperate message “do you know where the garden stick is?” and immediately got a reply.

“FML. You never pay attention! We threw the fucking stick away!”

I never win.

Sigh.

3 years

Today marks 3 years that I’ve been working here where I work. The reason this sticks out for me is that it also marks 3 years of change.

One week back (3 years ago) I had just returned from 3 months in Cape Town. My little sabbatical. My then boyfriend (of 2.5 years) and I had just broken up. My uncle passed away a week later and then, after applying for a Visa to go to the UK for a bit – I was told that it was declined.

Nothing made sense. I lived on neat Vodka and only ate when people forced me. It was an ugly – ugly time and I was completely lost. I hated life. I hated my ex, I hated that my uncle was dead and I hated everyone that worked at the Embassy that declined my Visa.

I think, that at that time, I hated myself too.

It was my grandmother, I believe, who saved my life. I say this with much conviction because had she not stepped in with advice, I would surely have ended up in a ditch somewhere.

She suggested that I go away. She suggested that since I had all this money saved to go to London and that upon returning I would have had to look for new work, that I should just get away. “Go stay by Conrad in Cape Town for a bit, go clear your head. go rest, and try again when you get back.”

And so that is what I did. I packed up everything and put it in storage. I booked my flights and off I went to Cape Town.

Those 3 months were possibly the best 3 months of my life. I did nothing but rest and read. Long walks on the beach, sleepy afternoons under the trees in the park.

Bliss.

There was no original time line. I had no plans. I was in no rush. I was simply wasting time. One morning I woke up and said to my friend that I needed to go back home. The time felt right and I was leaving the next day.

And so I did. The Universe was kind and gentle and I got lucky. The day I landed back in Durban I was invited to a job interview. That same day I arrived I went straight through for the interview and a few days later; 25 October 2007 I started working here. A month later I fetched all my stuff out of storage, moved into a cute little flat and started living my life.

So much has changed. So much has happened. I’ve learnt, I’ve grown and I’m happy.

And, I met an amazing man – never wanted to believe it could happen again.

Time, it’s a funny thing and we can never know what it will bring with it. I don’t know what will happen in the next 3 years – but I know what happened in the last 3 years and remembering this will help me, will guide me into the next.

i'm doing it my way

"Everyone keeps telling me to look at the big picture, but what they don't understand is that I'm looking at an entirely different painting"

why i've been quiet, and a pic of my cat :)

“you could have had a stroke!”

That was what the Doctor said to me last Monday when I made an appearance in his office after a few dizzy spells and falls. At 29 years of age I have the blood pressure of an 80 year old man.

Thanks insane life style, a pack and a half of smokes a day and way too much red wine.

I guess.

So then I find out that my mom, my aunt and my gran all suffer with really high blood pressure, so some of it is in the family.

I was prescribed medication and went on a tizz. I was so high I swear I spoke to Jesus. By Friday night I had fallen 8 times. Nice.

I fell up stairs,
down stairs – in the lounge, in the garden – I fell while just standing. DOOF! My legs would just give away.

So I was taken off the medication. I had to go back to the Doctor yesterday and my blood pressure was at its highest – new medication was prescribed and voila! – I feel like a new man.

Seriously people. Who knew? Not I – that is for sure. The last 6 months have been terrible for me. Often feeling ill, dizzy spells and falls and no one ever thought it might be something as simple and common (but scarily dangerous) like BP.

I’ve also developed a bad case of what I call “x-box thumb syndrome” – maybe it’s already a world wide term used by everyone – I don’t know – I don’t see how it cant, but dammit my thumbs are sore from all the x-box I’ve been playing.

On the plus side I’m the champion of the ski slopes :)

Ooh. Happy Phuza Thursday!

and another picture of Dexter... haha. My mother says I'm mad. I love this cat crazy!

spring is here :)

Twinkle twinkle oh look its Spring!

My oh my what a wonderful thing (iiiing)

You smell like roses, petunias and cat…

Cat?

Dammit Dexter! SCAT!

*ahem*

Twinkle twinkle why hi there Spring.

It is so lovely to see you again!

You’ve been gone for way to long,

And so that is why I’m singing this song (oooong)

Welcome back Spring!!!


I might just need a really long holiday.
I’m not mad.
I promise.
That is open to interpretation.


all the flowers are blooming and grass is green :) i love, love love it.

69

oooh. I just noticed my followers have gone up to 69.

my fave number of all ;)

upside down

there is no other way for me to explain how i'm feeling today.

Today is :

Dexter’s first day at home all alone. That’s because my boyfriend got a job! Yay! Ok, so it is only a temporary project, and there are really crappy shifts involved – but after 3 months of being unemployed he really needs this.

As mentioned, I’m not jumping with joy at the arbitery shifts he will have to work – coz like that means I am home alone a lot of evenings, but I’m glad for him. He needs to get out of the house, away from me and the cat and the trained conversation that he has been surrounded by. Now at least he will meet a few new people, do something more than wash laundry and dishes while having his toes attacked by an adventurous kitten and we get a little bit of space.

I’ve always believe that a little space can go a long way – and I will keep busy. I will put in a few more hours of work, when I feel like it. I will visit friends and they will visit me.

I’m just nervous about getting home tonight and seeing the horror that has possibly (probably) unfolded with one little kitty at home running amok!