I don’t pay attention.
Really, I don’t.
I’m easily distracted, bored or I just get irritated with myself or a situation then I close off. Not quite shut down, but definitely Stand By Mode. I can not even watch a movie in a cinema because then I want to walk, talk, smoke.
Meetings? Well, I’m always there. For at least 10 minutes before I drift off into la-la land and am back in what I now call SBM.
It drives my boyfriend crazy. He says things like :
“you don’t pay attention! If you are looking for the keys, why not try looking on the key rack?”
And we have conversations like :
“really? Wozzel? You’re asking me where the washing powder is? really!?
“umm. Ja. *scratch forehead* I’m sure I was stoned when you told me?”
“the laundry room! THE LAUNDRY ROOM! Come on, maaaan!”
Daily conversation people. I swear. I love it. I find it very entertaining.
So anyway – I needed to find the stick last night. The garden stick. You know; the kind you push into the ground next to a small tree or shrub that needs some support to stand up straight? Ja – that stick. I had one when we moved into the new place but never needed it. Now I do.
W) should we throw away the stick?
D) yes.
W) but I might need it.
D) then don’t throw it away.
W) but what will I do with it?
D) put it away until you need it!?!? (one can hear the frustration in his voice now)
W) but where?
D) THE STORE ROOM WOZZEL! Fuck! We have a store room. Don’t you ever pay attention?
W) well. No. not really.
And that was how that conversation continued for 15 minutes longer.
And so, before I sent the man a frantic text message disturbing him at work – asking him where the stick is I decided I would think about. I would use my common sense.
I would look for the stick.
I would find that stick!
My search was relentless. I looked in the store room. No stick. The laundry. No stick. The loft. The lounge. The garden. NO FRIKKING STICK!
And so, I sent the desperate message “do you know where the garden stick is?” and immediately got a reply.
“FML. You never pay attention! We threw the fucking stick away!”
I never win.
Sigh.
8 comments:
that is funny. i can picture you looking for the stick everywhere to prove a point and still not finding it getting even more frustrated. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. sorry you never found it.
I was going to make a comment about goldfish and their memory but I don't want to offend 'Thoughts from the fish bowl.'
HILLARIOUSS!
Wahahahahahaha I have full sympathy - love it!!
Excellent story. You're not alone. Both Jim and I have our moments. He swears that I never pay attention, but I know that he's the one who doesn't ever pay attention. ;-)
hahaha - John, the difference here is that i'm quite happy to admit that i never pay attention. :-p
Ha I love this....I never pay attention either...I always have a song going in my head...lol
LOL! David, i hear you. That's exactly my problem. There is always a song in my head that I'm jamming to instead of paying attention to my surroundings :)
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