Last night I was attacked by a vicious cockroach. The boyfriend and I had just returned from playing tennis, and were getting ready to eat KFC (we figure that if we exercise, then eat junk food, it can’t be all that bad) and watch a DVD when through the door, into my face (I was in the passage) this motherfucker (sorry) (actually I’m not really) charges in!
I ask you, with tears in my eyes. WHY? Why me?
boyfriend, moving as swiftly as a Gazelle in the veld (and screaming like a hyena) jumps up, grabs a “Runners Guide” and proceeds to smack me in the face. There I am writhing in pain, with a fat red welt on my face. So I grabbed the magazine and smacked him back! Now he is convinced that he will die of a brain tumour or aneurysm caused by me smacking him upside the head.
The roach scurried away and we decided it would be better to rather go visit a friend (lest the roach call his buddies). Off to friends place and I’m still a bit traumatised so we opened the bourbon. One comedy later and some random freestyle dancing, my cell phone rings. It’s roommate and she is on her way home wanting to know if we are there and she is bringing wine. Yay! So off we go and as we get home, there’s the wine. I mean, there she is.
We get inside and we are in the house, there, in the lounge, sitting on my moose (another story that’s too complicated to explain if you’re a first time reader) is the cockroach the size of a 3 year old human child. It jumps. I scream. Boyfriend backs out the front door; roommate walks over and squashes the roach under her sexy black shoes.
Grabs the monster by a twitching leg and flushes it down the loo.
And that is how the cockroach died.
12 comments:
Afraid of roaches are we? I am! This is funny. Wish I was a fly on the wall last night. Unless you are afraid of flies too? awwwwww
I am admittedly afraid, no, rather squeamish when it comes to bugs and nasty critters of the sort who wish to infect me with their horribleness, but a fly, nope ;) I hate a roach. Yucky.
lol...
loved your reaction.
You should do something about it though. Hitting each other on the head is not a solution. Spray the corners and definitely put some poison down the drains...
Summer here now, so there is not much hiding from those evil creatures i'm afraid :( plus, living in a complex means that i've also got to deal with people close around me and if they dont do anything bout the roaches, it wont help me much, but i'm def buying a spray tonight, maybe a few cans to leave at random intervals around the house...
one never knows where they might be lurking. blegh!
Holy fuck! I SO want to read this post, having just joined your blog following ( had to check out the new guy on my own ;) ...but I have a PHOBIA about cockroaches...and I cannot even look at the pic... eeeeeeuwh! so...gonna read some archives instead.
your so funny. i have a roach tattoo on my leg:)
@ Little Miss Lawlessness - i cry. like a little 3yrd old girl when i see those horrid horries.
Joe - a cockraoch on your leg? Are you mad? eeeuw!
YUCK is the right word.
Wait until your very lovable very sweet black cat runs into the house and drops one of them on the floor, in the middle of the room...
EVERY F@#$ING night!!!!
hehe, our room mate has a beautiful big, fat, ginger cat. His speciality is finding rats and snakes and leaving them in the lounge! LOL! uuurgh, eeuw, yuckity fluckity yuck!
Haha, I feel bad for laughing at your trauma, but that was funny. The image of you and your bf hitting each other with magazines had me in stitches.
Ry
dont feel bad dude :) i'm sure it woulda have been frikking hillarious to watch the two of us stumbling around, screaming, hitting each other with mags, avoiding the roach! haha.
i woulda laughed if it had been somewhere else.
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