This morning, I woke up fat.
I also woke up with a pimple the size of China on my chin.
This has all come at a most inconvenient time.
I’m attending a function tonight you see, and I need to be looking my best.
But no. The universe is on a roll and is taking out her premenstrualism (it’s my blog, I will make up words if I want to) on me.
I’ve woken up fat. And with a pimple on my chin. And I’m no longer in the good mood that usually accompanies Fridays.
Now I’m just trying to think of a creative excuse for not going out tonight.
Last night, woooah. Might be the reason I look like I do today. Met up with a dear friend who has been tra-la-la-ing around Europe for the last 4 years. There was much laughter, screeching and even higher pitched squealing last night over countless pints of beer and way too many tequilas.
Good times people. Good times.
Must admit, I was not expecting the news she share. She got married. Two years ago. To her girlfriend. And I never even knew she batted for our team. Good on her. Only, I’m getting a little irritated by the fact that everyone around me is getting married (including most of my mofo maatjies) and I’m not.
Hmmmm.
10 comments:
I hate it when the universe does not go along with my plan!!!!!! Just pretend the zit is an infectious sub-tropical decease (more sympathy that way), and then throw a caftan on and pretend you are in solidarity with your muslim brothers in Palestine (this will hide the fat).....GO AND HAVE A GREAT TIME!!!!
Yes. I have decided to get over myself and just go :)
You're not fat, you're beautiful! ;)
Dude...you can't wake up fat! Get a new mirror, buy jeans that fit differently (differently dammit, that is the euphemism I am sticking to!)
xxx And go out...you can't wake up not fabulous...even if your mirror lies to you about the way your jeans fit differently!
you are quite right darlink :)
anyway, i think my jeans just shrunk a bit in the wash. yes. that must be it.
Oh dear god, GO. With some to lots of alcohol will make the pimple like it never existed and I doubt that you are fat and I am sure you will grace that event with your hotness. So Go.
P.s.
Don't get married, because WHORING around rules! not to imply you are a whore but nothing wrong with being a whore. I just love the word whore.
You didn't wake up fat. You just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Pull yourself together, relax, see how beautiful you are and go to amaze the crowds. You know you can do it…
Well it's Saturday now. I take it you went to your function. How woz it? (see what I did there)
Did you wake up skinny?
Pimples are killers. I hate them more than anything in this World. Acne + pimples is even worst.
Anyway, I can see you attended the function which was a wise decision.
lol - WannabeVirginia W. - i laughed so much at this comment. thank you :)
So yes. I woke up skinny on Saturday. And shiny. What a night. WIll write about it later. I'm still looking for coffee right now.
Nothing but a temporary optical illusion brought on by lack of alcohol, so glad you got over it ;)
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