My chit (work it out) My door, My life…

I will be 29 in two weeks time. The last year of my 20’s. I’m not going to be 20 something anymore. I’m going to be 29 and I have to deal with it.

Shitfuckdammit. What have I been doing for the last 28 years, 11 months and two weeks? Not much to show for it is there…

I have a blog. Surely I’ve done more with my life.

Surely.

That’s the thought I woke up with this morning. Who am I and what am I and what have I done and what will I do and what will happen and all that jazz.

Of course, I remembered, that I’ve done more than just create a blog. And that I have a lot more plans for the future than just updating my blog.

I’ve been a son. A brother. A friend and a lover. Oh jeez, lets all break out in song!

It’s true though. I do believe that I have been a good son. A good brother. A good friend, and if I may say so myself… a rather good lover. And it’s normal to go through these “phases” in life, when you wake up with the sneaky suspicion that your all is not quite what it is meant to be, that maybe, just maybe you’re meant to be doing something else. Something completely different all together.

If my mother were here listening to me bitching an moaning she would look at me, with that sad look in her face, as if I were an especially precious kitten who had died in the most tragic of circumstances, then scrunch her face up, give me the “hand” and tell me to get over myself.

Sometimes you just need someone to tell it like it is. And I think my mother is the only person in the world who is not scared to tell me exactly how it is. Even when I don’t want to hear it.

Anyway. I’m talking a load of crap and will just move right on.

I ended up going out on Friday night. My room mate whipped out her MAC makeup kit and did some kind of magic I’ve only ever seen on TV - and before you know it, VOILA, clear skin.

Clear skin I tell you. Not a blemish in sight. Long live make up.

Had a really great time even though the function was as boring as hell. You see, I had a few drinks too many and convinced my boyfriend that we should go clubbing after the function. It was the first time we had ever gone to a club together, so off we went to “The Lounge” not a real nice name for a gay club, I don’t think so, and it was the first time I had been there in over a year. crazy. I’ve realised that age is catching up with us because we were home just after 1:00am and woke up feeling VERY tender on Saturday morning. I thought I would die. I cant do late nights anymore. This is clear as daylight. Anyway. we get home from the club, I’m falling all over the place (naah, not so bad) and we decide that we should open some wine. At 1:00am.

Ja. Good idea.

Then we decide to roll the fattest joint in the world. Ever. At 1:00am after too many drinks and having just opened a bottle of wine.

Ja. Good idea.

Then my boyfriend had an argument with the bathroom door because he could not close it properly and it was sticking. And he punched it. And I laughed so much I almost peed my pant. Then I bandaged his hand with a sock. Coz we don’t have bandage and I was too drunk to care and there was blood and all I wanted was for the blood to go away. I was still laughing so much that I ended up peeing my pant.

Then I spent most of Saturday morning, hungover, shiny – with an even bigger zit on my chin, still fat – trying to fix the bathroom door. That was lying on the floor.

It now just hangs there on the door frame, on one screw and a prayer because I don’t know how to fix broken doors.

Next thing I know?

It’s Monday morning and I’m at work, doing a job that I don’t like very much.

Life. funny thing isn’t it? We spend all our time trying to figure out the meaning of it all, trying to figure out what we are meant to do while we’re here. trying to figure out how and why the days and weeks, months and years just go faster and faster and faster and faster and then…. We die.

Where’s the unlike button?