breath in, breath out.

Why is it that good people like myself, and you all of course, are doomed and cursed with having to work with idiots?

Really. Here me out. I’m having one of those days.

What I hate most about interviewing prospective new employees is that more often than not they have not read the job spec slowly, and carefully. So they come unprepared, unqualified and quite often, uninterested.
Luckily for me interviewing prospective new employees is not my problem. It does however become my problem when I have to work with these new employees who say stupid things like “where is the loo?” and “do I need to press zero before the number to fax?” and they breathe in my space. Because, have you not heard? I’ve been clusterfucked.
Yes.
Clusterfucked.

And I see new people.

Goodbye quiet corner where no one bothered me.
Goodbye window. Goodbye sanity.
Goodbye tree. I shall miss thee.

Hello strange people breathing on me. Who I do not know.
Hello noise. Hello strange smells. Hello strange stain on the carpet.
Hello cooler. Right next to my desk. Where people come and get water. Would you be so kind as to bugger off!

So, as you would imagine, it took me a long time to find something to smile about this morning. It was pointed out to me though, just the other day, that I’m the guy who always seems to be able to find the silver lining in just about any cloud. So I have a reputation to uphold. – Off I went to try find something to smile about. Only, all I found was my boss, and that’s not cool, and then he wanted to chat. And he asked me if I’m ready and motivated for the new year and the promotion (which I’m not terribly) and I said “Yes” and I was dismissed and I scurried off to my desk faster than a rat caught on cheese when the lights are turned on.

And it was only like, 10:30 am.

I decided that today the silver lining would have to find me. I was not taking any chances leaving my desk again.

But I did. I went to the loo.

Love zips – convenient.
Hate zips – break at the most inconvenient of times.

Anyway, zip breaks and I’ve had to spend the entire day walking around with June’s jersey wrapped around my waist so that the bright red underpant does not keep making an appearance. It’s quite classic actually. I look like an idiot. I’m finished. I can’t cope. I’m done.

So another colleague comes through to my desk leans over the cluster partitioning and she tells me this story that I absolutely must share with you. It is brilliant! It’s hilarious. Because I say so.

Where do we start? I think it is important to start with the fact that she is Afrikaans. Very, very Afrikaans, and up to about 2 years ago she could not speak English at all. Now, living and working in Durban it’s kinda important, so she has improved tremendously.

Anyway, I’m drifting off here.

She was at a motor bike rally, some 3 maybe 4 years ago, and having had too much wine (and being at a rally remember) she went looking for a tree to take a pee behind. Then she fell and tripped over one of the big overgrown roots. A concerned stranger asked “Are you ok?” and she replied “Ja, I just fall over a carrot of the tree”. The stranger politely corrected her saying “no, it’s roots” and she said “I’m not rude, I just fall over the carrot of the tree”

Poor guy just walked away shaking his head. I can not cope!

I’m going to pee in jean pant!

I are falling over the carrot of the tree now too! Bwahahaha!

(a carrot in Afrikaans is wortel, which is the same word for root, just for my non Saffa readers)

And then, I smiled. And I said “thank you Charline, you silly girl”

Awesomeness!! I found something to smile about! Well, at work anyway, because in my personal life.. I’ve got lots to smile about at the moment, and it is date night tonight. Something that makes me really happy! Every week boyfriend and I go on a date. We have since we’ve been together, and even though we are always doing something, always on the run, we ALWAYS take one day out of a week that is just for us and no one else is allowed to be there.

I love date night. And I love my Daz. My dazzling Daz :)